I Will Break Free

Written 10-31-2010 @ 2:34 am

I feel dirty like a thief
Who has stolen something,
Like a homeless person
On the side of the street.
I'm guilty of many crimes
And inside I weep
For the loss of time
And the pain I see,
For the days that pass
And the bridge I will never leap.
I feel I can never
Be really truly me,
Always held captive
By something unseen.
But I can't let go.
I have to believe
That the day will come
When I will break free

Update 10-30-2010

Forty-five mintes to midnight! It's almost happy Halloween, everybody! YaY! I wish I was going to a haunted house or something...oh well. So, what's been going on with me? Well, today sucked. I fought with my dad about everything. Basically, I woke up ticked off at him, and I got up out of my bed at about 3pm to help my mom unload groceries out of her car. SO he was mad cause I stayed in bed so long. Then he just let my fourteen year old demon brother play his video games and watch tv while he made me take out the trash and do various other chores just to bug me. Just him touching me nowadays bugs me. That's how much I want to get out. Yes, I know I lied a couple times to him in the past. GET OVER IT! Whatever, I've got a year and two months til I'm eighteen. Thank God he believes that when you're eighteen, even if you're living at home, you can do whatever you want. I can go where I want, I can go to my friends houses, I can go everywhere alone, and I can be who I really am. I'll get my forever tattoo, and I WILL pierce my nose if I want to. Yesterday we went to the last football game. It was great. I had a lot of fun, except when one of my friends made a comment about me having a 4.0 GPA and being held hostage by my dad...which is true, but still, I didn't need that aired to the whole world around us. I already get enough crap for being smart and for my dad.
All the juniors had to take the ASVAB the other day. I made an 89. By the end of the day I wished that I hadn't have told anyone.
I feel the most depressed in my third block class, music history. All our teacher does is read a book, and at least I can listen to my iPod without getting it taken up.
I love Taylor Swift's new cd, Speak Now. My favorite song on it is Enchanted. I love it cause it's exactly how I felt when I met the guy that I currently like right now at school. ;)
I noticed a comment mentioning Fang and the maximum ride series that I had addressed, and by now, I have read all the books, including Fang. And honestly, I wanted to kill James Patterson when I had finished it. Fang and Max NOT TOGETHER??!!?? I wanted to KILL HIM!!!!
But, well, what do you expect from an old guy who writes about all this action and killing and crap and then tries his hand at a romance in the middle of it. Nope, I'm sticking to Sarah Dessen. I love the book The Truth About Forever more than anything. READ IT!!!
I have the Sims 3 now, and I love it alot. It's so fun hurting people when they're pretend and talking to crazy ghosts and making emo sims.
A new girl came to our school this week, and I've successfully befriended her. YAY!
Today, I fixed my computer!!!!!!!!! I can now use the internet whenever I don't have my computer plugged into the router!!! It made me SO Happy! And I figured out what my old itunes account information was. So i could redownload textplus, for when I get my new iPod touch 4G for Christmas almost next month.
More later,
TaBiThA

The Flower That Would Never Bloom

Written 10-28-2010 Just before English 3 (2nd block)

Just another lifeless lonely day
I have to force myself through
It doesn't really matter anyway
No one needs to talk to someone new
I just wanna go to sleep
Watch me as I wilt away
The flower that would never bloom
Sit in silence everyday
The flower that would never bloom
-TheRamseyRose-

THANK YOU!!!

So, I was just looking at my blog a few minutes ago, I saw that someone had left a comment!!
Then I kept looking for more, and there were several, like at least five!!! So, this is to ya'll that read my blog. I just wanted to say, thank you very, very much. It made me very happy to read what you took time out of your precious lives to write to me. That means so much to me. And since one of you asked me to post a chapter of one of my books, I'll set up a page and post a chapter. Once again, thank you for reading my blog and posting comments. Most of my life, I feel sad and unwanted, and somehow, when people say I have talent or something like that, it just brings my soul higher, I guess. I know I may sound somewhat overdramatic over such a simple thing as a comment on one of my posts, but I wanted to let you know that I'm just like that. And nothing makes me happier than knowing that my life's passion is appreciated.
Thank You, My Lovelies.
Love, Tabitha<3333333

P.S. I would love for anyone who wants to say something to me and wants an answer back to email me at dreamerwriterpoet@gmail.com. Thank you for making my day.

Everything We Could Be

Written 10-23-2010 @ 3:12 pm

I saw you again
When I came home
Still had that feeling
When I saw you in the hall
Now my friends know
Some say I'm in love
It's too soon to know
If I'd be enough
For now I'll just hold on
Just wait for you to see
Everything I am
And everything we could be

Where I'll Go

Written 10-22-2010 @ 11:39 pm

There's no one around
No one I can trust
I'm left to decide
What I surely must
I don't know where to hide
When I become scared
No solace I can find
Not even in prayer
I have to go on
This much I know
And at least if I die
I know where I'll go

Changed My Mind

Written 10-18-2010 @ 11:18 pm

I thought it would be hard
Getting over you
But one look at your myspace
And it changed my mood
I guess Fall break did help
Not seeing you for a while
Sure I still like you a little
But at least now I can smile :)
Now I feel like I can go on
And do whatever I like
I'm glad I got to the point
Where I changed my mind

How To Live

Written 10-11-2010 @ 12:04 am

I'm thinking of you
As I lay here alone
Still haven't decided
If I should let you go
Far away as can be
I wonder where you are
And I know it's silly
My feelings and all
I just wish you could see
All the love I could give
But you'll never be with me
Unless I learn how to live

"I cry like the rain tonight"

10-8-2010
He will NEVER like me
Maybe all I need to do
to forget
is to believe that...
He is all I think about
He enters my brain at least
every five seconds...
All I want is to forget
Forget how I feel about him
Forget he even exists in my
own private little world...
He is a player;he will
never change. He'd use
me and throw me away...
And it would be beautiful...
He's amazing...He's a jerk
We all are
He's beautiful...I'm not
I have no chance
And it's killing me day by day...slowly...

A Smile

Written 10-8-2010 @ 10:15 am

Walk around lonely as a ghost
Cause no one cares to be around me
In the end it's all my fault
Crying just comes too easily
I guess emotional lows come
For every emotional high
But the lows are always worse
Though short if I don't try to fight
I just want the pain to end
I hate living this way
If I could only find one true friend
A smile would come upon my face...again

Unlikely

Written 10-7-2010 @ 10:10 pm

I've gotta forget about you
You're not the right guy for me
I wish that I didn't have to
I just wish that I could be happy
But nothing ever goes right
This game is getting old
I want to have a real life
I'm tired of doing everything I'm told
So if things were to change
And you were to notice me
I might give you a chance
But wishful thinking is so unlikely

About You

Written 10-5-2010 @9:35 pm

I keep thinking about you
It never stops
I keep dreaming about you
Around the clock
And now I'm singing about you
And my heart's confused
Cause people tell me I shouldn't like you
But I already do
It's a feeling I can't explain
Telling me to hold on
I start to forget and something screams wait
But I won't wait for long
I have to make a choice somehow
Bout how to feel about you
Cause people tell me I shouldn't like you
But I think I already do

In My Heart

Written 10-4-2010 @ 8:14 pm

Is there no one left?
Am I the last one alive?
Chivalry must be dead
Purity taken prisoner by desire
God, prepare my man
Send him my way
And I'll give him my hand
In my heart he can stay

Separate Lives

Written 9-19-2010 @ 1:47 pm

I still remember
Every word you said
And I see your picture
Swirling around in my head
I never did tell you
What I still felt inside
And now and again I think it through
While we're living separate lives

Far Away

Some parts of my life feel so far away...like I've lived a million lives. It's like, oh, I can remember doing that, feeling that, but it seems so long ago...I wonder why that is. I wish I knew. Maybe someday I will.
So, update, last week we went on our trip to Dollywood and Nascar Speedpark. It was great, with minor Dad setbacks. Speaking of which, he's gone for a few days, and I have my computer back, but wiping it caused problems such as the fact that in order for me to have internet, I have to sit out here in the living room like I am, in the dark past midnight plugged up into the modem, to get internet. Oh Joy. Plus, Pudge is right beside me, and he smells like a skunk. Literally, because one sprayed him today. He's not so great lately, he throws up alot. He threw up twice today...or, yesterday, I mean. Book-writing.....I'm taking a break. And the rest of my life right now? It looks pretty okay.
TaBiThA<3