ACT score

MADE A TWENTY-SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Taking The World And My Perfect Guy's Heart By Storm

Do you ever wonder, will I ever find love? I wonder that all the time...sadly. I don't have love, and I kind of doubt I ever will...I mean, I look at myself in the mirror, and think about the things that I do and the way that I act, which is sometimes completely insane, and, would I want to date me? Not really. Every time I see a new guy, who's good-looking and fits into my idea of someone I could be with, I dream about him. Even if I've never spoken to him in my entire life. Even if he doesn't know my name....but of course I know his. He is where I want to be, even if he doesn't know me....but I want him to know me. The only problem is, He doesn't want to know me...no one does...Because I'm not like other people. I see everything just a little bit differently, even more different than what normal people (if there is such a thing) who have just a little bit of seeing things differently in them see. Like, I'm the Only one. And that's what makes me a writer. The longing to fit in clashing violently with the PASSION to be myself and be DIFFERENT. And so I choose to be different. Because, who wants to live a normal life, anyway? Well...some people, I guess. Not me though. This is what I want. I want to meet a guy, someone who is perfect for me, and who will fall madly in love with me. And I feel the same way. For once, he would care about me, too. That's the main thing I want in my life. The other thing is I want to share my writings with the world, those things that make me different, yet help me to understand and connect to people. And to help them understand me. That's what I want. The question I have finally answered. Who am I? I am Dreamer Writer Poet. And I'm taking the world and my perfect guy's heart by storm.

Who You Need

Written 4-25-2010 @ 7:21p.m.

I'm watching you
And I can see
You're watching me too
Don't you think
What you should do
Is talk to me
Cause I could be who
You need
D

To Know Me

Written 4-25-2010 @ 2:47 p.m.

I see something
No one else sees
And it's glowing
Oh I wish you'd see me
I think you are
More than can be seen
I want to know you
I want to see
But I want you to want that too
I want you to know me
There's so much
We could discover
Everything
About each other
And I hope
There'll come a day
When you decide
You want to know me
D

Truth

And that was the day that
I promised I would never
sing of love if it
does not exist.

Thoughts?

I think once I switch schools I'm going to go by Noel, my middle name, since there's ANOTHER! Tabitha there, too. Thoughts?
=D

Oh, To Have One Drama-Free Day...

4-14-2010

Yet another day has come to pass in which people confuse and disgust me. Why am I not surprised. First, some people need to learn to shut up. Second, people shouldn't necessarily trust what people tell them, ESPECIALLY their family... Because, families are PREJUDICED! ! ! ! ! Figure things out for your own self!....Can I not have even one drama-free day....?
Tabitha

What Has Been Happening Lately

Alright, finally all caught up. So, I'll talk about what's been happening lately. (I already explained some about what's happening earlier, so consider this a recap) The ACT was stressful. And I knew my grandfather was going to die. I wasn't surprised when my mom came and told me. Not at all. I barely shed a tear, no more than one, because i barely knew him. Sometimes I feel bad for not crying or being sad when my relatives die. I just don't know any of them really well.....Anyway, I am dying to go see The Last Song whenever it comes to the nearest theater. I can't wait to see my friends graduate in the two high school graduations I'm going to.....though I will probably cry. I wish I was going to church tomorrow, but my mom isn't feeling up to it. I think it's going to be weird to see my brother at his junior high graduation. It's getting much easier for me to talk to guys, thank goodness. Maybe the curse of being shy is ending. I was in Driver's Ed for 2 and a half weeks....then I got pulled from the class cause my dad didn't know Kelby was going to drive. That day was awesome though. Me, him, and Rheanna drove from the school to Sonic (Yum) and then I drove from Wal-Mart back to school! It was an awesome day. My school went to Columbia State Community College in Columbia, TN to compete in a bunch of different things. Six went for Spanish, three for Essay, and one for History. Only two won anything, and that was in the basic Spanish competition. Meagan placed second......AND I WON! My medal has first place on the back and everything. It'll probably be in the newspaper this Wednesday. =) I entered a poetry contest and didn't win. =( I let my English teacher at school read all four of my books and she said they were very good. =D I've now written 190 poems. And I just finished my 5th book on Thursday. It's called 'All Kinds Of Love'. And I've already begun a new one, titled, 'The Magic Jacket'. I cried on the way home on the bus on Friday. It was a terrible day. First, at lunch I found out someone likes the same guy as me, though she's so not good enough for him. If she actually thinks he won't see right through her, then she has got a shock coming. That same girl was one of the reasons I cried on the bus later that day. She and five other girls who I came home and told my mom I wanted to brutally murder. Basically, what happened was, they were making fun of someone, calling her names, like, 'Skank' and 'Vampire B'.(Because she's a twilight fan, but so are they. am i the only one who sees how retarded this is?) Anyway, they were so cruel, and the reason they claimed their comments as justified was that they didn't like the way she looked at them. THEY DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT THEM! How the heck are these girls (Two tenth graders, one ninth grader, two eighth graders, and one seventh grader), all but one younger than me, going to survive in the real world? And I'M the weird sheltered one who doesn't understand the way the world works?!?!? Seriously? So, within minutes, I moved from the back of the bus to the front, away from those evil girls. And I cried. I cried because I couldn't believe the cruelty, the immaturity. And because I felt the insults as if they were directed at me because I know and have known exactly how it feels for, say, my whole life! I do not understand how people like that can live with themselves. I know I couldn't. And I am in no way trying to imply that I think of myself as perfect. I just know what they did and what they do is wrong....and nothing will ever change that.
Tabitha

Loneliness

Written 4-1-2010 During 2nd block, English 2

Sometimes people surprise me. I start thinking after awhile that they're just like me, or rather that I'm just like them, but it's a day like this that I know they're not. I'm not. It makes me wonder....why? What are the differences, and how much of it is actual upbringing, and how much is just their own sad minds? I've cheated once before, I tried it a few weeks or so ago. It wasn't hard. I just don't like it. It made me feel bad. Which makes me wonder, am I am the only one in this class who has a conscience? One of two, maybe? I'm starting to think it's the same everywhere. Even if I go to a different high school next year I'm still going to be disgusted at least once every single day. I probably will be for every day for the rest of my entire life. This is the curse of Christianity.
Loneliness.
But it's worth it.
Tabitha!

Knowing It's Hopeless

Written 4-5-2010 @ 3:03p.m.

Thoughts colliding
In my head
I should be surprised
But I'm angry instead
I thought it was over
That I was done with this
But here I am wishing
On four-leaf clovers
All the while knowing it's hopeless.

Maybe Never

Written 4-2-2010 @ 6:50a.m.

My feet don't touch
The ground
As I spin
Around
My heart
Feels light
And I let it fly
Through the air like a kite
Then the wind
Slows down
And my heart is lost
Maybe never to be found

Live Through The Death

Written 4-1-2010 @ 6:39a.m.

If I stay here
Alone
I die

If I leave
All alone
I will die

If I carry on
With you
I will live
Through the death

Something In You

Written 3-29-2010 5:26p.m.

Complacency would be
A welcome feeling
In the midst
Of all of this despair
Just one look
And my heart is reeling
But doubts arise
Because after all
I've been there
So every night
I gaze upon my ceiling
And pray to God
For the impossible
To come true
Because in all honesty
I know what I'm feeling
And I see something I need in you

Begun

Written 3-29-2010 @ 2:54p.m.

How could you
Do this to me
In just a few days
Though we're so young
Somehow I know
This is a beginning
Something has begun
My only question is
Will we fall in love?

A Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry Long Day

Today was a very long day. I got my internet back today, for starters. And I'm done with all the retarded online chatting sites. I took my first ACT today. I met someone who I have a feeling I'll be talking to again...soon. I made my decision about what school I'm going to this fall. And my maternal grandpa died today. He was in his early-mid nineties. Sad. =( But all is well, because now he's in heaven with his wife and God. Nearly a decade he's been waiting to see her again....and all his life to see God. Well, now it's time to catch up on blog entries. =)
Tabitha