I love this music video SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!
<3 TaBiThA
Sunday, February 28, 2010
My Result:
You are Love Story
You are Juliet waiting to find your Romeo (or maybe you have already found him), but luckily, your love story doesn't end in suicide! Like the song "Love Story," you are a classic romantic, and a dreamer. You believe in true love and soul mates, and know that there is someone special out there who is made just for you. You believe that love conquers all, and can overcome anything, so enjoy your happily ever after!
Taylor Swift Song Quiz from CuriosityLounge.com!
Quizzes :: Free Taylor Swift Tickets
Career Assessment :: American Idol Tickets
Quizzes :: Free Taylor Swift Tickets
Career Assessment :: American Idol Tickets
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Things On My Mind
I have a question on my mind today, following me around. Why do we hurt the ones we care about the most? I don't mean, like, on purpose, but simply by living our lives. I wish I knew, and I wish once again that I was a better person. I wish once again that I could go back to when I was two years old, and change how I was. The only reason that age comes to mind is because my mom says that's when I turned evil. Or something like that. I don't look back on my childhood and think, 'Boy, those were the good old days' and smile. I wish I could re-do the whole thing. I wish I could take back all those times when I told my parents I hated them. I wish I'd grown up to be someone else, because, honestly, I don't like who I am right now. I feel myself slowly slipping away, and it makes me feel terrible. Sometimes I want to just give up and forget trying to keep up with my relationships. But all the while I know I can't. That would only haunt me for the rest of my numbered days. I wish I could talk to my dad, like the way I do to my mom. I wish he could accept that I'm not a little kid anymore. I wish my grandparents wouldn't try to control me, because it will never work. I wish I wasn't in this place in my life, I'm so stressed out because I have a choice to make. My whole life I've been in the middle. Not a tomboy, but not a girly-girl. Not outgoing, but yet not shy. A rebel, but a goody-goody. No one sees the rebel me. I don't show that part of me to anyone but my parents, and I shouldn't enjoy being rebellious, but I have to admit I do. I like the idea of independence. That's all I want. I want to leave, and go someplace where I can meet someone who I will be in love with forever. That is the root of every dream in my head. Finding love. I want it to be everything I've dreamed of, and I write about what I can only wish would happen to me. I could never be that lucky. Sometimes I wonder if I've already met him, but just don't know it yet, and sometimes I wonder if he's really even out there, because who in their right mind could love me? Me?!? It just doesn't seem possible. At this point in my life, I don't think I've ever been in love. And I just wish I knew what it really feels like, and what it all would be like. I've never even been kissed. Most people think that's really sad. I happen to be one of them. I know how pathetic my life is, how awful it can be. I feel as though I'm in prison at the moment. I'm locked away like a princess in a fairy tale, waiting for her prince to come. Waiting for him to find her, waiting to know love, to the fullest extent. And, honestly, sometimes I wish I had the guts to end it all. Normally I would be too ashamed to admit that sad fact. I can't count how many times I've prayed, and prayed really hard, that God would take me away from here because I couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take the loneliness, the knowledge that I'm not really wanted around.
Well, I guess I feel a little better now, but I just wish I could change my life. I never thought I would say it, but I wish I was anything but sixteen right now. And I find that wish very depressing.
<3 TaBiThA
Well, I guess I feel a little better now, but I just wish I could change my life. I never thought I would say it, but I wish I was anything but sixteen right now. And I find that wish very depressing.
<3 TaBiThA
Reflection
So many people in my world think I'm a good person, and most of the time I wonder what they would think of me if they really knew. Knew what I can be like when no one is watching. I am a self-centered person and I forget easily that things are mostly not about me. I'm basically screwed up, because half the time I just don't know what to say. And if I did say something, it would be taken the wrong way. It nearly always is. Most people would see me, the outside me, and maybe they would immediately guess what my life has been like. They automatically think I have a heck of a lot of support from my parents, which I do not. That is the reason I am moving far, far away from them. Can no one see that? I've learned one thing from people. Sometimes most people just see what they want to see. They block out anything that could change their view on their lives. Everyone has a built-in way they perceive the world. Mine is far different from everyone else's and therefore, I do not act the same way. Sometimes, a lot of times, I wish someone, anyone, would care enough to really want to know me. Sadly I feel as if they never do.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I Think I'm Becoming BIPOLAR!!!
Yesterday i was so incredibly happy I about freakin cried! And now today I'm real sad. =( What the heck is up with that???
TaBiThA<3
TaBiThA<3
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Or I'll Be Left With Nothing
Written 1-30-2010
Sometimes I wonder
If I'll ever find love
I know that some people love me
But it's never enough
All I know is my hurting
My rejection and pain
To me it's my downfall
But it's everyone else's gain
I keep trying to find it
Trying ruins everything
I have to just let it happen
Or I'll be left with nothing
Sometimes I wonder
If I'll ever find love
I know that some people love me
But it's never enough
All I know is my hurting
My rejection and pain
To me it's my downfall
But it's everyone else's gain
I keep trying to find it
Trying ruins everything
I have to just let it happen
Or I'll be left with nothing
In Wonder
Written 12-14-2009
In wonder of Your creation
Of every morning light
And everything I see
So thankful for my sight
In wonder of Your world
Of every child, boy and girl
Made perfectly to worship You
In every single thing You do
In wonder of You
And everything You made
Everything You do
And everything You said
In wonder of Your creation
Of every morning light
And everything I see
So thankful for my sight
In wonder of Your world
Of every child, boy and girl
Made perfectly to worship You
In every single thing You do
In wonder of You
And everything You made
Everything You do
And everything You said
This Won't Be The Last Time
Written 12-13-2009
I can't even remember the last time
I talked to you
But I know you're listening
As I cry to you
My heart's been broken
I must confess
And my life remains
As one big mess
I can't even remember
The last time
I sat here and told you
About my life
So I promise you
I won't repeat what I regret
And this won't be the last time
I pray to you from my bed
I can't even remember the last time
I talked to you
But I know you're listening
As I cry to you
My heart's been broken
I must confess
And my life remains
As one big mess
I can't even remember
The last time
I sat here and told you
About my life
So I promise you
I won't repeat what I regret
And this won't be the last time
I pray to you from my bed
This Girl
Written 12-11-2009
This girl can write
This girl can dream
This girl was someone
Who nobody could see
This girl has light
Shining through her
She's quite a sight
But no one knew her
This girl will be
Someone everyone will love
This girl is a daughter
Of the King above
This girl can write
This girl can dream
This girl was someone
Who nobody could see
This girl has light
Shining through her
She's quite a sight
But no one knew her
This girl will be
Someone everyone will love
This girl is a daughter
Of the King above
The Girl You Need
Written 12-5-2009
You don't know what you want
You don't know what you need
I'm waiting for you
To figure out it's me
You stand by yourself
And other times with her
When you will figure out
I wanna be your girl
You're smarter than you know
Smarter than she sees
I'm just waiting to show
You I'm the girl you need
You don't know what you want
You don't know what you need
I'm waiting for you
To figure out it's me
You stand by yourself
And other times with her
When you will figure out
I wanna be your girl
You're smarter than you know
Smarter than she sees
I'm just waiting to show
You I'm the girl you need
Everything I Feel
Written 11-20-2009
You gave yourself away
In the blink of an eye
You never could wait
And now you cry
I should have told you
But I was afraid
I knew I would lose
There was no other way
I tried hard to show you
What I know is real
But you said you see right through
Everything I feel
You gave yourself away
In the blink of an eye
You never could wait
And now you cry
I should have told you
But I was afraid
I knew I would lose
There was no other way
I tried hard to show you
What I know is real
But you said you see right through
Everything I feel
Long-Lost Hearts
I want to color the world
I want to brighten the sky
I want to be someone else
To see what it feels like
I want to see why they live
The way that they do
I wonder if they realize
That I see right through
They never see me
As I quietly watch
They don't see as I cry
For their long-lost hearts
I want to brighten the sky
I want to be someone else
To see what it feels like
I want to see why they live
The way that they do
I wonder if they realize
That I see right through
They never see me
As I quietly watch
They don't see as I cry
For their long-lost hearts
No One Will Change Me
Written 11-17-2009
I'm sixteen now
It's my birthday today
Can't believe it's been ten years
Since I learned to pray
So much has changed
Yet so much the same
A different life I've led
There's more to me than is ever said
That's how it is
How it always will be
Doesn't matter who they are
No one will change me
I'm sixteen now
It's my birthday today
Can't believe it's been ten years
Since I learned to pray
So much has changed
Yet so much the same
A different life I've led
There's more to me than is ever said
That's how it is
How it always will be
Doesn't matter who they are
No one will change me
Why Don't They See
Written 11-11-2009
All of those girls
Who take all my guys
Most are born cheerleaders
Why am I not surprised
All of those guys
The ones that I like
Never go for me
Why don't they realize
My angry soul
Must be why they leave
My burning hole
Why don't they see
All of those girls
Who take all my guys
Most are born cheerleaders
Why am I not surprised
All of those guys
The ones that I like
Never go for me
Why don't they realize
My angry soul
Must be why they leave
My burning hole
Why don't they see
Brokenhearted
Written 11-6-2009
It hurts so much to be alone
And I know it more than most
People come and people go
And I hate it when I hurt
Won't be long before I'm home
Sit alone and start to cry
Knock on the door I turn to stone
Screamin out, what do you want and why
Why am I crying, I just got owned
What do you want from me
Just for once, leave me alone
I'm brokenhearted can't you see
It hurts so much to be alone
And I know it more than most
People come and people go
And I hate it when I hurt
Won't be long before I'm home
Sit alone and start to cry
Knock on the door I turn to stone
Screamin out, what do you want and why
Why am I crying, I just got owned
What do you want from me
Just for once, leave me alone
I'm brokenhearted can't you see
In Here
Written 11-6-2009
I'm alone in here
Wish I had someone
Wish I didn't have to fear
For my heart when I come
I'm so bored in here
With my pen in my hand
And all I wanna feel
No one seems to understand
I can't wait to leave
Though I have far to go
I'm all alone in here
But I still have a few hopes
I'm alone in here
Wish I had someone
Wish I didn't have to fear
For my heart when I come
I'm so bored in here
With my pen in my hand
And all I wanna feel
No one seems to understand
I can't wait to leave
Though I have far to go
I'm all alone in here
But I still have a few hopes
Save It For Another Day
Written 11-5-2009
You can't tell me
What to do
You can't give me
That attitude
You think you know me
Well you're wrong
If you want sympathy
Go write a song
I don't care about
What you have to say
So don't hang around
Save it for another day
You can't tell me
What to do
You can't give me
That attitude
You think you know me
Well you're wrong
If you want sympathy
Go write a song
I don't care about
What you have to say
So don't hang around
Save it for another day
Beautiful
Written 11-2-2009
Beautiful sun
Lit up my path
As I travel on
Beautiful soul
Who showed me the way
To become whole
Beautiful world
Should I not think so?
Or haven't you heard?
Beautiful sun
Lit up my path
As I travel on
Beautiful soul
Who showed me the way
To become whole
Beautiful world
Should I not think so?
Or haven't you heard?
My Innocence
Written 10-30-2009
Where did my innocence go?
I'm asking everybody
But nobody knows
I think I lost it
When you broke my heart again
Or maybe when I started
Thinking I had friends
Truth is they don't care
They use me and I cry
I really hope You're listening
When I bow down and ask why
Where did my innocence go?
I'm asking everybody
But nobody knows
I think I lost it
When you broke my heart again
Or maybe when I started
Thinking I had friends
Truth is they don't care
They use me and I cry
I really hope You're listening
When I bow down and ask why
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wishing You'd Come And Find Me
Written 10-30-2009
So maybe I changed my mind
Or maybe I'm out of it
I know true love is hard to find
But it's on my bucket list
Why do I always find 'the one'
And he never likes me--
I'm beginning to come undone
And I'm never happy
I'm losing all my hope
Can't find a point to anything
Sending up a message in smoke
Wishing you'd come and find me
So maybe I changed my mind
Or maybe I'm out of it
I know true love is hard to find
But it's on my bucket list
Why do I always find 'the one'
And he never likes me--
I'm beginning to come undone
And I'm never happy
I'm losing all my hope
Can't find a point to anything
Sending up a message in smoke
Wishing you'd come and find me
You're Out Of The Picture
Written 10-27-2009
I guess you never felt
The way that I do
I was seeing all the signs
From my point of view
But I was wrong
Now left to fix myself again
All alone
So much that day could have been
Now I find
Someone new comes into focus
Always on my mind
And you're out of the picture
I guess you never felt
The way that I do
I was seeing all the signs
From my point of view
But I was wrong
Now left to fix myself again
All alone
So much that day could have been
Now I find
Someone new comes into focus
Always on my mind
And you're out of the picture
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Tonight
Written 10-26-2009
Everyone's leaving me
I'm left here alone
It's getting hard to see
A fragment of hope
I know that it's out there
Somewhere hidden away
The person that will care
For me eternally
Giving up looks okay
Giving up sounds alright
But even though I cry everyday
I won't give up tonight!
Everyone's leaving me
I'm left here alone
It's getting hard to see
A fragment of hope
I know that it's out there
Somewhere hidden away
The person that will care
For me eternally
Giving up looks okay
Giving up sounds alright
But even though I cry everyday
I won't give up tonight!
I've Got Nowhere To Go
Written 10-22-2009
He has got his perfect girl
And I am left out
Of his world
Now I don't know
What to do or say
And I guess it
Doesn't matter anyway
And I am left here all alone
I'm afraid and I've
Got nowhere to go
He has got his perfect girl
And I am left out
Of his world
Now I don't know
What to do or say
And I guess it
Doesn't matter anyway
And I am left here all alone
I'm afraid and I've
Got nowhere to go
With Me Now And Forever...
Written 10-19-2009
I hate being with someone
Who I don't really like
I wanna be with the one
Who makes my heart rate spike
I want him to be with me
During every waking hour
I just want him to be
With me now and forever...
<3
I hate being with someone
Who I don't really like
I wanna be with the one
Who makes my heart rate spike
I want him to be with me
During every waking hour
I just want him to be
With me now and forever...
<3
You're Not Just A Girl
Written 10-19-2009
When the world comes down
Crashing at your feet
Don't sit around
Or come crying to me
Don't sleep all day
Or cry all night
Listen to what I say
Don't put up a fight
Do all you can
To change your world
This is your chance
You're not just a girl!
When the world comes down
Crashing at your feet
Don't sit around
Or come crying to me
Don't sleep all day
Or cry all night
Listen to what I say
Don't put up a fight
Do all you can
To change your world
This is your chance
You're not just a girl!
This Is Our World
I absolutely love this poem, it reveals everything I want. I wrote it 10-14-2009.
I'm the girl
You never knew
You were lookin for
Converse shoes
Nothing to lose
Yeah I'm that girl
And you're the guy
Caught my eye
What a world
Close your eyes
Say goodbye
This is what we hoped for
Me and you, you and I
What a perfect world
Say goodbye, close your eyes
This is our world
I'm the girl
You never knew
You were lookin for
Converse shoes
Nothing to lose
Yeah I'm that girl
And you're the guy
Caught my eye
What a world
Close your eyes
Say goodbye
This is what we hoped for
Me and you, you and I
What a perfect world
Say goodbye, close your eyes
This is our world
I'll Have My Happy Ending
I wrote this 10-13-2009 for my friends Lisa and Max, because me and Lisa had just lost the guys we loved ever so much. Sad, I know. I wrote this to show her there IS hope.
<3 you Lisa.
There's always a second chance
A new beginning
A hope to find someone
For love never-ending
Though we may not see it now
There's always a new day
Though he left and now is gone
It's never too late
So I'll ever give up hope
On a new beginning
I'll trust that I'll find someone
I'll have my happy ending
<3 you Lisa.
There's always a second chance
A new beginning
A hope to find someone
For love never-ending
Though we may not see it now
There's always a new day
Though he left and now is gone
It's never too late
So I'll ever give up hope
On a new beginning
I'll trust that I'll find someone
I'll have my happy ending
I Wanna Believe I'll Find Someone
Written 10-12-2009
I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna know
I don't wanna be strong
Don't wanna move on
But I have to
I don't wanna give up
I JUST WANNA BELIEVE
That I'll find someone
I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna get old
I don't wanna know
I don't wanna be strong
Don't wanna move on
But I have to
I don't wanna give up
I JUST WANNA BELIEVE
That I'll find someone
Everything
Written 10-7-2009
Everything about this place
Reminds me of your perfect face
Everything about my home
Makes me think of you alone
Everything about my life
Now just makes me cry
Everything inside my heart
Screams from being ripped apart
And the voice that is my soul
Wonders if I'll ever be whole
Everything within my life
Waits for when my tears are dry
Everything about this place
Reminds me of your perfect face
Everything about my home
Makes me think of you alone
Everything about my life
Now just makes me cry
Everything inside my heart
Screams from being ripped apart
And the voice that is my soul
Wonders if I'll ever be whole
Everything within my life
Waits for when my tears are dry
Your Beautiful Eyes
I can't believe I still can't get over his eyes... written 10-4-2009...
I wanna stop
You beautiful eyes
From watching me
I wish you'd think
Bout how your beautiful eyes
Make me not breathe
And you'll never see
What your beautiful eyes
What they did to me
I wanna stop
You beautiful eyes
From watching me
I wish you'd think
Bout how your beautiful eyes
Make me not breathe
And you'll never see
What your beautiful eyes
What they did to me
Love Is Hope
I wrote this October first 2009. This is like the true expression of everything I am, and everything I wanna be. This is me.
Love is hope
To move on
To hold on
When I'm wrong
Love is what
What I believe
Keeps me strong
Helps me carry on
Love is faith
In the one
Who cares about you most
Even when you're wrong
Love is when
Someone dies
For who they love
No greater love is spoken of
Love is waiting
For the one
Your truest love
When love is hope
Love is hope
To move on
To hold on
When I'm wrong
Love is what
What I believe
Keeps me strong
Helps me carry on
Love is faith
In the one
Who cares about you most
Even when you're wrong
Love is when
Someone dies
For who they love
No greater love is spoken of
Love is waiting
For the one
Your truest love
When love is hope
Worse Than Him
Written 9-30-2009 I wrote this poem about a girl who used to be like my best friend, and I trusted her to keep a secret, but she instead went and told the last person on earth I would want to know anything secret about me. But I still love you, girl, cause you're still like my sister.
Today I realized
You are different from me
Not from outward appearances
More like our priorities
You think life is a party
I thought you were my best friend
What I did now wasn't so smart I
Just didn't want the friendship to end
Now I realize that
You aren't who I thought
I've removed my welcome mad
Know that this is worse than him
And it hurts a lot
Today I realized
You are different from me
Not from outward appearances
More like our priorities
You think life is a party
I thought you were my best friend
What I did now wasn't so smart I
Just didn't want the friendship to end
Now I realize that
You aren't who I thought
I've removed my welcome mad
Know that this is worse than him
And it hurts a lot
My Last Goodbye
Written 9-29-2009
You don't know what you did
You don't see what you are
Now I'm not the only one
Who sees through your heart
You are so easy-going
And you don't care how I feel
Now I have trouble knowing
It's gonna take a while for me to heal
Though I know I don't want you
I hope you know I don't hate
You but with all this you made me go through
I don't ever again wanna see your face
And if you need clarification
This my poem is my last goodbye
You don't know what you did
You don't see what you are
Now I'm not the only one
Who sees through your heart
You are so easy-going
And you don't care how I feel
Now I have trouble knowing
It's gonna take a while for me to heal
Though I know I don't want you
I hope you know I don't hate
You but with all this you made me go through
I don't ever again wanna see your face
And if you need clarification
This my poem is my last goodbye
Holding Out For My True Love
Written 9-28-2009
Summer's over
Fall has come
Season that I
Used to love
Troubled times are
Far from my mind
I'm forgetting how to
Live my life
I'm letting go of
All I was
I'm holding out for
My true love
Summer's over
Fall has come
Season that I
Used to love
Troubled times are
Far from my mind
I'm forgetting how to
Live my life
I'm letting go of
All I was
I'm holding out for
My true love
If I Could Have One Wish
This poem is about a boy I met at the skating rink when I was fourteen. I think it was December 21st 2008. His name was Wyatt, and this is for him. I wrote it September twenty-seventh, 2009, because I was wishing I could see him again. For you, Wyatt.
You made me smile
One day long ago
It's been a while
But I remember your glow
I looked you up
And found you
But now I'm afraid
That you will see right through
My masquerade
I just wondered if
You remember me
When I begin to drift
Back to sleep
If I could have one wish
It'd be to make you see
You made me smile
One day long ago
It's been a while
But I remember your glow
I looked you up
And found you
But now I'm afraid
That you will see right through
My masquerade
I just wondered if
You remember me
When I begin to drift
Back to sleep
If I could have one wish
It'd be to make you see
Your Last Song
Written 9-25-2009
I know now
I was wrong
And I feel
So let down
But I know
I'll soon move on
Just wish I'd known
All along
What I thought
Thought was real
Instead seems to be
Something I was
The only one to feel
This song here
IS THE LAST ONE
You're not worth my time
So finally I write
Your last song
I know now
I was wrong
And I feel
So let down
But I know
I'll soon move on
Just wish I'd known
All along
What I thought
Thought was real
Instead seems to be
Something I was
The only one to feel
This song here
IS THE LAST ONE
You're not worth my time
So finally I write
Your last song
Conclusion Of Volume One
And that poem, My Hope, concludes my first volume of poems. I will begin to post volume two tomorrow. Sleep well all
<3 TaBiThA
<3 TaBiThA
My Hope
9-18-2009
I'm hurting
Can't you see
The look on my face
When you're near me
I'm breaking
I try to hold it in
Wish I could go back
Back to before "Dreamin"
We were so close
I could tell from how you spoke
But I got impatient
I pushed the envelope until it broke
My heart was racing
And then you killed my hope
I'm hurting
Can't you see
The look on my face
When you're near me
I'm breaking
I try to hold it in
Wish I could go back
Back to before "Dreamin"
We were so close
I could tell from how you spoke
But I got impatient
I pushed the envelope until it broke
My heart was racing
And then you killed my hope
Thoughts
9-17-2009
I thought there was a chance
Gave it my best shot
Took my final stand
And now look what I've got
Thought you were the one
My prince, but you're the frog
Now I come undone
My hope is all but lost
Never wanted to give in
Thought you were just shocked
Gave you some time to think
But you aren't who I thought
I thought there was a chance
Gave it my best shot
Took my final stand
And now look what I've got
Thought you were the one
My prince, but you're the frog
Now I come undone
My hope is all but lost
Never wanted to give in
Thought you were just shocked
Gave you some time to think
But you aren't who I thought
Fly Away
9-9-2009
On the wings of love
We fly away
On clouds of dreams
We fall in love today
On our hopes and prayers
We base our hearts
Most people they seem
To stop and stare
They watch as our hearts
Fly away
On the wings of love
We fly away
On clouds of dreams
We fall in love today
On our hopes and prayers
We base our hearts
Most people they seem
To stop and stare
They watch as our hearts
Fly away
Continue To Fall
Written 9-4-2009
I thought I was a winner
I found now I have lost
What I wanted was worth it
But instead I paid the cost
My heart was slowly sinking
And when I heard your reply
It caused my heart to fall asleep
Like a child's lullaby
Now I find it's really awkward
When I see you in the hall
All I did was send us backward
All the while I continue to fall
NOT ANYMORE! HA!!!
I thought I was a winner
I found now I have lost
What I wanted was worth it
But instead I paid the cost
My heart was slowly sinking
And when I heard your reply
It caused my heart to fall asleep
Like a child's lullaby
Now I find it's really awkward
When I see you in the hall
All I did was send us backward
All the while I continue to fall
NOT ANYMORE! HA!!!
Without You
Written 9-2-2009
I pass you in the hall
I smile and look away
I'd go against them all
To see what you would say
I try hard not to care
But everyday I do
I'm thinking it's not fair
Me being without you
Finally when I sleep
I let it all go by
I might just get some peace
Until the morning light
Yep, there's me second from the left, and then there's him... we were fourteen in that picture...ahh memories.. :'(
Tearstained
Written 8-31-2009
Tearstained
My constant complexion
So drained
I don't feel anymore
Can't explain
My thoughts have no direction
Who to blame
Is what I'm searching for
It rained
My secret resurrection
I played
For hours outside my door
I've now been shamed
No one is lesser
How to complain
I'm shaken from my core
Am I insane
My constant complexion
Tearstained
Tearstained
My constant complexion
So drained
I don't feel anymore
Can't explain
My thoughts have no direction
Who to blame
Is what I'm searching for
It rained
My secret resurrection
I played
For hours outside my door
I've now been shamed
No one is lesser
How to complain
I'm shaken from my core
Am I insane
My constant complexion
Tearstained
Be Strong
Written 8-28-2009
I'm strong but
I'm being worn down
I can't get my
Feet on the ground
I feel so lonely
And so meek
Though it's only
Been a week
I have to
Move along
Find a way to
Be strong
I'm strong but
I'm being worn down
I can't get my
Feet on the ground
I feel so lonely
And so meek
Though it's only
Been a week
I have to
Move along
Find a way to
Be strong
Heart Breaking
Written 8-27-2009
Dream dying
You caused it
Heart crying
You hesitated
My mind is blank
All fears dissolved
No give and take
Time to let go
I held my heart out
Without thinking
Now the only sound
Is my heart breaking
Dream dying
You caused it
Heart crying
You hesitated
My mind is blank
All fears dissolved
No give and take
Time to let go
I held my heart out
Without thinking
Now the only sound
Is my heart breaking
My Broken Heart
Okay starting at about right now you will begin to see a change in my mood within my poems....depression resulting from a direct rejection. I wrote this right after I gave it to him because this is what I knew would happen and sure enough it did, written 8-26-2009
Pretend you can't
See me watching
I'm in foreign lands
Don't you see
You sneak your way
Into my heart
I can't ever say
How I feel
I don't understand
Why you lead me on
You can't comprehend
My broken heart
Pretend you can't
See me watching
I'm in foreign lands
Don't you see
You sneak your way
Into my heart
I can't ever say
How I feel
I don't understand
Why you lead me on
You can't comprehend
My broken heart
Dreamin (Yes this is the one I gave away)
In case you were wondering, yes, this is the very poem I gave to Cameron Blackburn so many months ago. I still don't regret any of it, except maybe the part of being so blind to who he really was. So glad I know now. I wrote this 8-16-09 but Sable gave it to him probably a month later. Here it is:
Dreamin bout the way
You looked at me
Heard it from a friend
I didn't see
Scared to hope for more
Than what we are
Dreamin of the story
That could be ours
Dreamin of the days
You talked to me
Have to find a way
To free my dream
Still can't believe I freakin gave it to him!!!
Dreamin bout the way
You looked at me
Heard it from a friend
I didn't see
Scared to hope for more
Than what we are
Dreamin of the story
That could be ours
Dreamin of the days
You talked to me
Have to find a way
To free my dream
Still can't believe I freakin gave it to him!!!
Sunshine
I wrote this early in the morning on the bus ride to school(try 6:28 am),very freakin early,on August 13th,2009. It was my third day of school. I just remember being so amazed by God's love at that moment...
God's sun shines
On everything
Nothing can hide
No one, nothing
Sunshine plays
A dance on the ground
Cloudy days
Are nowhere to be found
And dreamy nights
Make me see
How God's might
Made sunshine for me
God's sun shines
On everything
Nothing can hide
No one, nothing
Sunshine plays
A dance on the ground
Cloudy days
Are nowhere to be found
And dreamy nights
Make me see
How God's might
Made sunshine for me
Live In The Moment
This is the first poem I wrote(8-11-2009)after I entered the public school system last fall, and we all know how well that turned out... :'(
See what I'm worried about
Is that he might fall for her
My friends say "have no doubt"
He's yours for sure
And I see him
Looking at me
So many feelings it's
Hard to think
I get home and I
Lay down on my bed
I start to realize
I need to live in the moment
See what I'm worried about
Is that he might fall for her
My friends say "have no doubt"
He's yours for sure
And I see him
Looking at me
So many feelings it's
Hard to think
I get home and I
Lay down on my bed
I start to realize
I need to live in the moment
You With Me Eases The Pain
Written 8-9-2009
Restless days
Sleepless nights
Dreams don't stay
In my sight
Hopeless hearts
Faithless souls
Left with scars
Feeling low
Then we meet
Scars remain
But you with me
Eases the pain
Restless days
Sleepless nights
Dreams don't stay
In my sight
Hopeless hearts
Faithless souls
Left with scars
Feeling low
Then we meet
Scars remain
But you with me
Eases the pain
SummerDays
Clear skies
Summer days
Something's not right
What's missing?
Rain falls down
Big dark clouds
Bright sun
I am overcome
Enter you and me
Perfect fantasy
Everything's great
Summer days
written 8-5-2009
Summer days
Something's not right
What's missing?
Rain falls down
Big dark clouds
Bright sun
I am overcome
Enter you and me
Perfect fantasy
Everything's great
Summer days
written 8-5-2009
Surround Me
Written 8-2-2009
Standing in one place
Staring off in space
Wondering where you are
Thinking about
When I had doubts
Now they've disappeared
Walking on
Towards the dawn
With you I'm always happy
Waiting still
Feelings I feel
Thoughts of you surround me
Standing in one place
Staring off in space
Wondering where you are
Thinking about
When I had doubts
Now they've disappeared
Walking on
Towards the dawn
With you I'm always happy
Waiting still
Feelings I feel
Thoughts of you surround me
Dawn
Written 8-1-2009
Walking through the rain
Tears disappear
Soaking in the pain
Drowning in fears
Wishing it'd stop
My face is tear-stained
Then my tears I'd mop
But it's too late
While I'm out
Mowing the lawn
I'm dying inside
Waiting for the dawn
Walking through the rain
Tears disappear
Soaking in the pain
Drowning in fears
Wishing it'd stop
My face is tear-stained
Then my tears I'd mop
But it's too late
While I'm out
Mowing the lawn
I'm dying inside
Waiting for the dawn
Fade Away....
Written 8-1-2009
Burning fire
Broken hearts
Love so pure
That left its mark
Hope this pain will soon fade away...
World revolved
Round you and I
Time that passed
Made everything alright
Memories never fade away...
Love that endures
Forevermore
Never letting go
Of what we were
You will never fade away...
Burning fire
Broken hearts
Love so pure
That left its mark
Hope this pain will soon fade away...
World revolved
Round you and I
Time that passed
Made everything alright
Memories never fade away...
Love that endures
Forevermore
Never letting go
Of what we were
You will never fade away...
How My Heart Beats
Written 7-22-2009
I used to believe
Opposites attract
But with you and me
It's different than that
One each other we lean
So neither will collapse
I wish you could see
When with you
How my heart beats
Oh so fast
I used to believe
Opposites attract
But with you and me
It's different than that
One each other we lean
So neither will collapse
I wish you could see
When with you
How my heart beats
Oh so fast
Fallen
Written 7-21-2009
What if I want
To be with you
Only you get
What I'm going through
We are the same
I just want to prove
That though miles apart...
I've fallen for you
What if I want
To be with you
Only you get
What I'm going through
We are the same
I just want to prove
That though miles apart...
I've fallen for you
More Than Fantasy
What can I do
When I like him so much
Everyone else
Is in such a rush
And he'll always be
Just a crush
Perfect for me
But not meant to be
Is true love
Pure fantasy
Only real
In the books that I read
With you this could be
More than fantasy
written 7-21-2009
When I like him so much
Everyone else
Is in such a rush
And he'll always be
Just a crush
Perfect for me
But not meant to be
Is true love
Pure fantasy
Only real
In the books that I read
With you this could be
More than fantasy
written 7-21-2009
For A Friend
Behind these bars
Chained to the wall
Lies a steadfast heart
Who gave it all
Just to prove
Someone's innocence
Broke the law
To cover someone's crimes
From the start
Knew it was the end
What that heart did
For a friend
written 7-19-2009
Chained to the wall
Lies a steadfast heart
Who gave it all
Just to prove
Someone's innocence
Broke the law
To cover someone's crimes
From the start
Knew it was the end
What that heart did
For a friend
written 7-19-2009
Today
For some life deals in heartbreak
For others just in shame
And when you look at my life
You see it's all the same
When everything's at stake
I smile and I pray
Cause when it comes down to it
I only have today =D
written 7-14-2009
For others just in shame
And when you look at my life
You see it's all the same
When everything's at stake
I smile and I pray
Cause when it comes down to it
I only have today =D
written 7-14-2009
Knew It All Along
It's kinda funny
How I felt when you had gone
I cried my heart out
Cause I knew it all along
I didn't wanna believe it
But in my heart
I knew we were wrong
I held on too long
Knew it from the start
The second you left
Felt it in my heart
I could breathe again
Relieved and I knew
Knew it all along
written 7-14-2009
How I felt when you had gone
I cried my heart out
Cause I knew it all along
I didn't wanna believe it
But in my heart
I knew we were wrong
I held on too long
Knew it from the start
The second you left
Felt it in my heart
I could breathe again
Relieved and I knew
Knew it all along
written 7-14-2009
Too Late
Walked out the door
Didn't say goodbye
I wanted more
Tried to fight
Gave up
Crying won't stop
As much as I pray
Hurt won't go away
Just stays
I never lie
You broke me down
Couldn't stop hoping
You'd come around
My mistake
It was too late
written 7-12-09
Didn't say goodbye
I wanted more
Tried to fight
Gave up
Crying won't stop
As much as I pray
Hurt won't go away
Just stays
I never lie
You broke me down
Couldn't stop hoping
You'd come around
My mistake
It was too late
written 7-12-09
Heartless
I'm sick of boys
Who like tall blonds
Airhead cheerleaders
Who think they're not
Even though they are
And with those people
I will have no part
Those high-schoolers
They have no hearts
Who like tall blonds
Airhead cheerleaders
Who think they're not
Even though they are
And with those people
I will have no part
Those high-schoolers
They have no hearts
High School
I was a freshman when I wrote this....so long ago!And I guess I've found this poem to be true and yet...false.
I left junior high
A year ago
My colorful nails
Where did they go
I see right through
This small high school
Every girl there
Has a french manicure
And I'm one of the few
Who chooses a black hue
What did I expect
From a high school
I left junior high
A year ago
My colorful nails
Where did they go
I see right through
This small high school
Every girl there
Has a french manicure
And I'm one of the few
Who chooses a black hue
What did I expect
From a high school
Whole Again
Lord my heart is failing
My pulse is going slowly
I always feel
So lonely
When all I need
Is only
You to make me
Whole again
My pulse is going slowly
I always feel
So lonely
When all I need
Is only
You to make me
Whole again
That Door
I wanna go to school
Like every other
Kid I know
I wanna be myself
SO then everyone else
Will know
I'm not a normal girl
I'm not mine
I'm the Lord's
So I pray He'll
Open up that door
I wrote this probably early 2009, just before I found out my prayers had been answered and I would be spending my last high school years at public school! God is AWESOME!
Like every other
Kid I know
I wanna be myself
SO then everyone else
Will know
I'm not a normal girl
I'm not mine
I'm the Lord's
So I pray He'll
Open up that door
I wrote this probably early 2009, just before I found out my prayers had been answered and I would be spending my last high school years at public school! God is AWESOME!
I Don't Want You Back
I left you today
Had to be that way
I don't want you back
Say what you want
I don't regret you
Still don't want you back
I moved on so long ago
Should have done this
Days ago
Love me all you want
I don't want you back
Had to be that way
I don't want you back
Say what you want
I don't regret you
Still don't want you back
I moved on so long ago
Should have done this
Days ago
Love me all you want
I don't want you back
Over You
How can I
Believe in you
After all
You put me through
I've found
A better way
You are through
With all my days
How could I
Still trust in you
Everything you said
Has proven to be wrong
That's the truth
I'm over you
Believe in you
After all
You put me through
I've found
A better way
You are through
With all my days
How could I
Still trust in you
Everything you said
Has proven to be wrong
That's the truth
I'm over you
Start
I see this Holy Light
It's shining oh so bright
It's shining down on me
It makes me feel so free
Shows me what I could be
All of what I'll become
All that's inside my heart
Is just waiting to start
It's shining oh so bright
It's shining down on me
It makes me feel so free
Shows me what I could be
All of what I'll become
All that's inside my heart
Is just waiting to start
The Dream
Does anyone
Understand my pain
Home alone sadness
No one's listening
Does anybody
Care to stay
Nobody's seeing
My real feelings
Does anybody
Hear my cries
Everyone's covering their ears
With their hands
Does anyone
See my face
Everyone's looking
The other way now
Does anyone
Feel my fears
Rising inside me
Boiling with hate and
Flying away from me
Now my only peace
Is the dream....
Understand my pain
Home alone sadness
No one's listening
Does anybody
Care to stay
Nobody's seeing
My real feelings
Does anybody
Hear my cries
Everyone's covering their ears
With their hands
Does anyone
See my face
Everyone's looking
The other way now
Does anyone
Feel my fears
Rising inside me
Boiling with hate and
Flying away from me
Now my only peace
Is the dream....
About Me
I see the way
You look at me
I hear your voice
I feel so free
I wonder if
You've noticed
Anything
About me
You look at me
I hear your voice
I feel so free
I wonder if
You've noticed
Anything
About me
Believing In True Love Again
I thought I believed
In fairy tales
And finally I'd found
My true love
Only time will tell
If I was
Under a spell
Or if this is
Really happening
Only then will I
Start believing in
True love again
In fairy tales
And finally I'd found
My true love
Only time will tell
If I was
Under a spell
Or if this is
Really happening
Only then will I
Start believing in
True love again
To Be With You
I always feel so alone
I'm saddened inside
The only thing
I really want
Is too big to hide
Every time I look
At your face
I know it's not my place
To be with you
I'm saddened inside
The only thing
I really want
Is too big to hide
Every time I look
At your face
I know it's not my place
To be with you
Getting Over You
Life will go on
Without me
If I don't care
My thoughts will surely
Haunt me
Everywhere
When I wake up
One new day
Doesn't mean I won't
Feel this way
But if I push on
Till tomorrow
I might make it through
I might push on
To tomorrow
If I get over you
Without me
If I don't care
My thoughts will surely
Haunt me
Everywhere
When I wake up
One new day
Doesn't mean I won't
Feel this way
But if I push on
Till tomorrow
I might make it through
I might push on
To tomorrow
If I get over you
Won't Leave My Heart
I know there's a story
Behind every tale
Facts are small figures
In your own world
Honor and glory
Pass on with time
But this boy he
Won't leave my heart
Behind every tale
Facts are small figures
In your own world
Honor and glory
Pass on with time
But this boy he
Won't leave my heart
No More Worries
My feelings never get better
Without You I'm alone
Like a volcano
About to explode
When I finally accept You
My life comes to
So I don't worry anymore
I only pray to You
Without You I'm alone
Like a volcano
About to explode
When I finally accept You
My life comes to
So I don't worry anymore
I only pray to You
Rare
It's just the same
How everyone acts
Because it's wrong
And they know it
They call my name
I don't reply
I can't explain why
I won't comply
Sitting in my bedroom
Sunday night
Nothing to do
But that's alright
They talk to me
I don't care
Trying to get me to cave
I just stare
I'm staying myself
Even if I'm rare =D
How everyone acts
Because it's wrong
And they know it
They call my name
I don't reply
I can't explain why
I won't comply
Sitting in my bedroom
Sunday night
Nothing to do
But that's alright
They talk to me
I don't care
Trying to get me to cave
I just stare
I'm staying myself
Even if I'm rare =D
Who I Am
I always understood
Who I am
I never got why I am
Who I am so
One day I understood
The purpose of my life
I started serving Him
And everything went right
I am who I am
Only because of Him
I <3 You
Who I am
I never got why I am
Who I am so
One day I understood
The purpose of my life
I started serving Him
And everything went right
I am who I am
Only because of Him
I <3 You
Moment Of Me
Okay this was probably written when I was about twelve:
Leaves are falling
From their trees
Times are going
But I feel free
There's always a moment
This year it didn't come to me
Always a moment of free
No matter how the wind blows
I still feel the same
But this is the year
That I will change
Everyday I only see
Things that pass by me
Cause I am blinded
By the light
The leaves are changing
Again
I realize
Only a moment has passed
A moment of free
Moment that changed me =)
Leaves are falling
From their trees
Times are going
But I feel free
There's always a moment
This year it didn't come to me
Always a moment of free
No matter how the wind blows
I still feel the same
But this is the year
That I will change
Everyday I only see
Things that pass by me
Cause I am blinded
By the light
The leaves are changing
Again
I realize
Only a moment has passed
A moment of free
Moment that changed me =)
I Thought I'd Tell You That
Someone might take your heart
And I may never get it back
A thousand girls are better
Yet you chose me
You've never even met her
But she's waiting for you
I'm gonna cry and cry
When she gets a hold of you
It's inevitable
My happiness never lasts
But you are something special
I thought I'd tell you that
And I may never get it back
A thousand girls are better
Yet you chose me
You've never even met her
But she's waiting for you
I'm gonna cry and cry
When she gets a hold of you
It's inevitable
My happiness never lasts
But you are something special
I thought I'd tell you that
You and Me
If you called
I'd drop the phone
And if you stalled
I'd understand
And if you wait
I swear I'll wait too
Just all I know
Is what you are
And all I see
Is YOU AND ME
I'd drop the phone
And if you stalled
I'd understand
And if you wait
I swear I'll wait too
Just all I know
Is what you are
And all I see
Is YOU AND ME
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Morning
~MORNING~
Sun is shining
In my dreams
Darkness covers
Every beam
Of light that tries
To wake me up
Clouds of gray
Hide the sun and
Ruin my day-
Dream ends in smoke
Light broke through
To wake me up too
Birds sang out
I cover my ears
And put my head under
My pillow but they
Still seem
To wake me up
Tabitha<3
Sun is shining
In my dreams
Darkness covers
Every beam
Of light that tries
To wake me up
Clouds of gray
Hide the sun and
Ruin my day-
Dream ends in smoke
Light broke through
To wake me up too
Birds sang out
I cover my ears
And put my head under
My pillow but they
Still seem
To wake me up
Tabitha<3
Hello from Tabitha
Hey my name is Tabitha and I love to write so I made this blog, and so I can be free to write without boundaries what I'm truly feeling. Sometimes I really have a lot to say, but it just never leaves my lips. I really should change that, but oh well. =)
Tabitha<3
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