Hey There!

Whoa, time flies!
No, really. I just threw your clock out the window. ^_^

Haha. So, it's been forever. And a day.
I'm almost eighteen now.
Wow.
Only been waiting forever for that to happen.
Well, forever ends January 3rd, 2012.
Can't wait.
So, what to say?
Still no boyfriend.
Guys just don't want to commit these days, damn them...
Oh well.
I'm okay.
I've got my five favorite people.
I've got facebook, tumblr, twitter, wattpad, skype, facetime, and textplus.
God that's alot. o.o
So I'm good.
And it's summer.  Boring as hell, I tell you.
Maybe I'll start posting all the poems I've written since I last posted.
Or maybe I won't...
Who knows!
Bye...^_^

Every Girl

Every girl just wants one thing in her life: to be called beautiful by someone, preferably a guy, and know, really know, that they absolutely mean it.

This Is What I Believe

Written 11-11-2010 @ 8:31 pm

A battle rages inside
The pressure to conform
I don't know anymore what's right
I only know how to follow

And now it's getting stronger
This screaming burning desire
I can't wait much longer
Should I even I try to fight?

I feel like I'm finding me
Would you leave me for that?
Who I'm truly supposed to be
Do you really think that's bad?

I won't sacrifice my standards
Is that enough for you?
I only know when I look upwards
And I think about what I want to do

All my life I've lived in shadows
Always wanting to be something more
But this frame of mind I've shattered
And I'm looking for an open door

There must be a place for me
Waiting far away
A place where I'm supposed to be
Someday I'll find that place

For now I'm reaching out
Wondering if this is right
When I see, I have no doubt
I don't want to regret in my life

All arrows point to this
It's always showing up
It could be worth the risk
Of sometimes standing out

I need to find out for myself
No one should have tell me this
I know where to cry for help
This is something I shouldn't dismiss

My future depends on me
Only I can decide
Whether life will bring me to my knees
Or if I will survive

I guess I don't need to choose now
I'm not even seventeen
I have a lot of things to figure out
This is what I believe

I think I've been crying for maybe the past half hour or so... I know it's stupid that I'm so easily moved, but I just am. I was finishing up reading this manga series, Crazy For You. I highly recommend it, though it may make you cry if you're easily moved like I am. It's a wonderful, beautiful story that has a happy ending. I hate things that don't have happy endings. Because who wants to believe in that? I don't. I want to believe in love, overcoming all for just two people. Two halves of a heart becoming a whole. I have to believe that, because someday, I'm going to meet my other half...and I'll have my happy ending, too.

Okay, I know I promised. Now here is the story of how I got the idea for my pending book, Violet and the Black Rose. So, quite a while ago, I was on yahoo looking at the updates my friend had made, and she had written the lyrics to song, talking about some cool dude named Andy Six. So I googled the lyrics and came up with this band, The Black Veil Brides. Then I tried listening to their song, Perfect Weapon, and to be honest, the screaming wasn't really my thing. But the band kind of stuck in my head. Plus Andy Six is waaaaay hot. But, several days later, I had a dream, or maybe it was a daydream, I can't remember whether I was asleep or not, but I was thinking about what it would be like if I met him, since, I mean, he's only three years older than me and everything. So, I thought, (or dreamed), and I came to the conclusion that, like, if for some insanely amazing reason, he was attracted to me, it would probably not work since he's an atheist and I'm a Christian. So, since this is how it usually happens, I kind of started writing down what I had dreamed, like, meeting him and him liking me, and me having to refuse. So I named the main character,(me) Violet, renamed Andy Six, as Andy Smith, and I kept my friend's name who wrote the comment that led me to finding them, which, her name is Alex, (love you girl). So, i wrote that Violet and Alex were sisters,3 years apart like me and rl Alex, and i made it like a couple years in the future, cause Alex is 15 and Violet is 18. I just needed to make Violet old enough to live alone with Alex cause i didn't want to mess with parents. So, the story goes, they go to a concert, for The Black Roses (changed from The Black Veil Brides, I liked the idea of roses since that's my thing). And I wrote that they got the band name from the lead singer's nickname, i wrote that his nickname was the black rose. So i wrote that, and i came up with a whole story to go along with it. well, at least a storyline. It's still in progress. I got to a stand-still point in it, i think its because i've been writing so much poetry lately. Anyway, there you go. And, actually, later after I wrote that, that band has been still stuck in my head, so i looked it up again and downloaded their songs and I found I really liked some of them!! The only thing about them that I don't love and support is that a song or two hints at the fact that they're atheists. I think the song I like best is The Mortician's Daughter. I thought the title sounded terrible at first, but then I read online about the real meaning and I just love it now. It makes sense. Anyway, I have to do a little homework.
By the way, today it is only two months until my SEVENTEENTH birthday!!! And, I dyed my hair dark brown today! It looks almost black, but that might fade, so prob by my bday I'll dye it black/brown. But I love it right now!!!
I'll upload some new pics later!!!!!!!!!!
<3 TaBiThA
I reached over 19,000 views on my blog today!!! Thx for reading!!!!!

NEVER Forget

Written 11-2-2010 @ 10:33 pm

I'm so sick of you
All you say and what you do
You say you trust me
Then don't tell me anything
School-wide, I'm last to know
Cause you don't talk on the phone
Who do you think I'd tell?
From now on, it's "Oh, well"
I'm done asking what happened
I don't care if I'm the last one
Just know this was the last time
Don't be asking me if I'm fine
Yes, I do easily forget
But, girl, I NEVER Forget

TaBiThA

These Days

Written 11-2-2010 @ 12:08 am

Love is a beautiful idea
These days
Everybody just want someone new
Boys just seem to love the thrill of the chase
It leaves us girls not knowing what to do

Marriage is a beautiful idea
These days
No one ever seems to stay together
But I want to promise you someday
That I will always stay with you forever

Life with you is a beautiful idea
These days
It seems the day will never find its way
But I know someday I'll think back to days like today
And I'll remember when I missed you during all these days

TaBiThA
I LOVE this poem!!! I feel like it's one of the best I've written in a long time!

Rather Say Goodbye

Written 10-27-2010 @ 7:27 pm

If you're really that unstable
Guess what I don't wanna be friends
If you're really that irritable
Than this is where it ends
Don't expect help on your homework
And don't expect a smile
Don't dare ask me what to do
I'm done with your crap for a while
Understand I really don't care
Don't ask me if I'm fine
And I know you really don't care
Cause all you do is lie
You love, to talk behind people's backs
So I'd rather say goodbye

TaBiThA

My Heart's Back Burner

Written 10-8-2010 @ 11:50 pm

Who should I listen to?
My friends say stay away
But my heart feels something new
Maybe in the end my heart will break
But my feelings ring true

Maybe it'll take forever
For you to notice me
Maybe it will remain never
But I promise one thing
For now I'll keep you on my heart's back burner

I don't have to decide now
And it's my decision to make
I need to feel the feelings I've found
Until I leave this place
And only then I'll let go

TaBiThA

11-1-2010

There is so much in my mind right now, it's like I can't even comprehend it all. SO much I want to know, and so much I want to do. So much I'm not ready for. So much that is and will be changing. So much that I can't even understand myself. Cause, you know, I want to be me. And I have a hard time with asking what EVERY single one of my friends thinks about every freaking thing. Like, about this whole thing with the guy I like now, and with my hair. So, I'm done. I swear, here on this blog of mine, that I will TRY MY BEST, emphasis on TRY, to completely, totally stop, unless it is completely and totally necessary. Got it? Okay. I just wish I had someone to help hold me to that....and I wish I had someone in general, too...=/
Sorry for being a downer!
On the other hand, right now I'm pretty freakin happy.
Thanks to Black Veil Brides. :) Somehow they made my day when I discovered them, and for several afterward. I just wish I could land a guy as awesome and totally hot as Andy Six! Good luck to me on that one!

Footnote: Why in the WORLD do I ALWAYS like musicians??? SOMEONE TELL ME WHY!

LoveLoveLove, TaBiThA

Next time I write I will tell you the origin of my new book, Violet and the Black Rose! And it has to do with Andy Six, believe it or not!

More Of Me

Written 10-31-2010 @ 7:58 pm

They tell you to care about yourself
Then they tell you
You don't care about anyone else
They tell you the right thing to do
Then they don't believe in you...
They label you twisted
I feel so confused
I just want my freedom
But I don't want to lose
Myself in the process
That could be hard to do
I want to find what's right for me
I'm looking for the clues
I see things everyday
That make my heart soar
So high in the sky
And everyday now I'm finding more
More of me

I Will Break Free

Written 10-31-2010 @ 2:34 am

I feel dirty like a thief
Who has stolen something,
Like a homeless person
On the side of the street.
I'm guilty of many crimes
And inside I weep
For the loss of time
And the pain I see,
For the days that pass
And the bridge I will never leap.
I feel I can never
Be really truly me,
Always held captive
By something unseen.
But I can't let go.
I have to believe
That the day will come
When I will break free

Update 10-30-2010

Forty-five mintes to midnight! It's almost happy Halloween, everybody! YaY! I wish I was going to a haunted house or something...oh well. So, what's been going on with me? Well, today sucked. I fought with my dad about everything. Basically, I woke up ticked off at him, and I got up out of my bed at about 3pm to help my mom unload groceries out of her car. SO he was mad cause I stayed in bed so long. Then he just let my fourteen year old demon brother play his video games and watch tv while he made me take out the trash and do various other chores just to bug me. Just him touching me nowadays bugs me. That's how much I want to get out. Yes, I know I lied a couple times to him in the past. GET OVER IT! Whatever, I've got a year and two months til I'm eighteen. Thank God he believes that when you're eighteen, even if you're living at home, you can do whatever you want. I can go where I want, I can go to my friends houses, I can go everywhere alone, and I can be who I really am. I'll get my forever tattoo, and I WILL pierce my nose if I want to. Yesterday we went to the last football game. It was great. I had a lot of fun, except when one of my friends made a comment about me having a 4.0 GPA and being held hostage by my dad...which is true, but still, I didn't need that aired to the whole world around us. I already get enough crap for being smart and for my dad.
All the juniors had to take the ASVAB the other day. I made an 89. By the end of the day I wished that I hadn't have told anyone.
I feel the most depressed in my third block class, music history. All our teacher does is read a book, and at least I can listen to my iPod without getting it taken up.
I love Taylor Swift's new cd, Speak Now. My favorite song on it is Enchanted. I love it cause it's exactly how I felt when I met the guy that I currently like right now at school. ;)
I noticed a comment mentioning Fang and the maximum ride series that I had addressed, and by now, I have read all the books, including Fang. And honestly, I wanted to kill James Patterson when I had finished it. Fang and Max NOT TOGETHER??!!?? I wanted to KILL HIM!!!!
But, well, what do you expect from an old guy who writes about all this action and killing and crap and then tries his hand at a romance in the middle of it. Nope, I'm sticking to Sarah Dessen. I love the book The Truth About Forever more than anything. READ IT!!!
I have the Sims 3 now, and I love it alot. It's so fun hurting people when they're pretend and talking to crazy ghosts and making emo sims.
A new girl came to our school this week, and I've successfully befriended her. YAY!
Today, I fixed my computer!!!!!!!!! I can now use the internet whenever I don't have my computer plugged into the router!!! It made me SO Happy! And I figured out what my old itunes account information was. So i could redownload textplus, for when I get my new iPod touch 4G for Christmas almost next month.
More later,
TaBiThA

The Flower That Would Never Bloom

Written 10-28-2010 Just before English 3 (2nd block)

Just another lifeless lonely day
I have to force myself through
It doesn't really matter anyway
No one needs to talk to someone new
I just wanna go to sleep
Watch me as I wilt away
The flower that would never bloom
Sit in silence everyday
The flower that would never bloom
-TheRamseyRose-

THANK YOU!!!

So, I was just looking at my blog a few minutes ago, I saw that someone had left a comment!!
Then I kept looking for more, and there were several, like at least five!!! So, this is to ya'll that read my blog. I just wanted to say, thank you very, very much. It made me very happy to read what you took time out of your precious lives to write to me. That means so much to me. And since one of you asked me to post a chapter of one of my books, I'll set up a page and post a chapter. Once again, thank you for reading my blog and posting comments. Most of my life, I feel sad and unwanted, and somehow, when people say I have talent or something like that, it just brings my soul higher, I guess. I know I may sound somewhat overdramatic over such a simple thing as a comment on one of my posts, but I wanted to let you know that I'm just like that. And nothing makes me happier than knowing that my life's passion is appreciated.
Thank You, My Lovelies.
Love, Tabitha<3333333

P.S. I would love for anyone who wants to say something to me and wants an answer back to email me at dreamerwriterpoet@gmail.com. Thank you for making my day.

Everything We Could Be

Written 10-23-2010 @ 3:12 pm

I saw you again
When I came home
Still had that feeling
When I saw you in the hall
Now my friends know
Some say I'm in love
It's too soon to know
If I'd be enough
For now I'll just hold on
Just wait for you to see
Everything I am
And everything we could be

Where I'll Go

Written 10-22-2010 @ 11:39 pm

There's no one around
No one I can trust
I'm left to decide
What I surely must
I don't know where to hide
When I become scared
No solace I can find
Not even in prayer
I have to go on
This much I know
And at least if I die
I know where I'll go

Changed My Mind

Written 10-18-2010 @ 11:18 pm

I thought it would be hard
Getting over you
But one look at your myspace
And it changed my mood
I guess Fall break did help
Not seeing you for a while
Sure I still like you a little
But at least now I can smile :)
Now I feel like I can go on
And do whatever I like
I'm glad I got to the point
Where I changed my mind

How To Live

Written 10-11-2010 @ 12:04 am

I'm thinking of you
As I lay here alone
Still haven't decided
If I should let you go
Far away as can be
I wonder where you are
And I know it's silly
My feelings and all
I just wish you could see
All the love I could give
But you'll never be with me
Unless I learn how to live

"I cry like the rain tonight"

10-8-2010
He will NEVER like me
Maybe all I need to do
to forget
is to believe that...
He is all I think about
He enters my brain at least
every five seconds...
All I want is to forget
Forget how I feel about him
Forget he even exists in my
own private little world...
He is a player;he will
never change. He'd use
me and throw me away...
And it would be beautiful...
He's amazing...He's a jerk
We all are
He's beautiful...I'm not
I have no chance
And it's killing me day by day...slowly...